Which Celebrity Parent Are You?

We just can’t help ourselves. As individuals, as a culture, as information junkies. We have some sort of need, like moths to a flame, to know the business of others. 

And I don’t mean in a peeping tom way, or an eavesdropping on conversations way. I mean in a Star Magazine, People Magazine, UsWeekly, Life & Style, OK!, sort of way. 

I am as big a junkie as the next. Thriving on celebrity gossip, who’s dating who, wearing what—and who can ignore the insanity of Charlie Sheen. 

It’s just pure delicious indulgence. Who cares how many inches Jennifer Aniston cut off her hair, or that Beyonce is spending her holiday in Australia. It has no real impact on your day, or really even your life. 

And the celebrity mom? Who doesn’t jump on that criticism wagon and go to town, judging name choices, pregnancy weight, money spent on kiddie nurseries and clothes.

In honor of this minor obsession/indulgence (on behalf of all of us) I have decided to not only embrace it, but to invite all you urban and suburban moms to give it some thought. Yup, that’s right, put yourself in their designer shoes and post-baby bods, and on those pages you can’t get enough of.

What Type of Celebrity Parent are you?

The Angelina Mom

Why stop at 1? Or 2? Heck, why stop at the arrival of twins? Like the Energizer Bunny of  moms Angie keeps going and going and going...They clearly have the means to provide dozens of children with educations, homes, geography lessons as first-hand experiences. 

With the count of their brood up to six, you wonder at what magic number will she stop producing or adopting offspring. You would imagine her as a mom to be hip and cool, seeming to take everything in stride. Using a variety of award shows to get out of the house with her husband for a date night (you know, with a few hundred of your most rich, famous and gorgeous friends). She comes across as a “real” stay-at-home mom.  A humanitarian and philanthropist, a happy homemaker. Can’t you just see her making her own playdough from scratch, you know, six batches of it?

The Posh Spice Mom (Victoria Beckham)

Surrounded by men. Including one of them arguably the most gorgeous on the planet and an international soccer superstar. Nothing she does is short of uber-sexy and seemingly high maintenance. You can imagine her to be in nothing shorter than 4-inch heels, even at pre-k soccer practice.  Everything she owns is either self-designed or couture. 

Never short of posh or fabulous, and always rocking the season’s hottest sunglasses and a perfectly glossed  pout, you have to imagine that the Posh life, is nothing short of uber-chic, uber-fierce and I guess these days, uber-preggers.  Finally a mini Posh will join their gorgeous brood and become an heir to all thing Posh.

No Doubt, A Rocker Mom (Gwen Stefani)

Some people take hours and hours to craft their look, and then at least another hour or so to craft their kids. Not Gwen. A total edgy and cool style icon, she seems to have effortlessly passed the gene down to her kids. She is rarely seen out and about without her mini rockers. Everything she does looks cool and effortless. Where she finds time to be an actual rock star and designer in addition to mommy, well, it kind of makes you feel a bit less successful at multitasking your day-to-day activities.

Just Jennifer (Jennifer Garner)

How does someone with so much always come across as unbelievably normal?  Though they must be on hand somewhere, you never see her with a nanny, and she is always toting one or both of her beautiful girls. A frequenter of local farmers' markets, a lover of park playdates, and even photographed in (gasp) sweats, she looks and acts exactly like your BFF, you know, if your BFF was married to Ben Affleck and starred in a ton of romantic comedies. 

You know her house is full of warmth and kids' toys, and it smells like home baked cookies, that well, let’s face it, she probably just baked. Don’t let the “ordinary” cover fool you though, she makes getting Hollywood-ed up look just as effortless.

The Funniest Mom You Know (Tina Fey)

You think about the funniest thing you do that your kids find hilarious. Now you multiply it by like 100. Seriously hilarious, and seemingly normal. Totally not afraid to get down and dirty. And what’s better than being able to use your day-to-day material from your hilarious tots at your office? And when your office happens to be  30 Rock, well, yeah…you get the picture. She kind of seems like that perfect working mom. Balance, coolness and humor. Kind of makes you want to hate her, but, trust, me, it’s just impossible. Even if you come close, just watch all her Sarah Palin skits and you will be able to channel your real dislike in Alaska’s direction!

The Presidential Mom (First Lady Michelle Obama)

Ok, so being Mrs. O, you have to imagine you are constantly  surrounded by high-powered officials, dignitaries and intellectuals. Not that she doesn’t pack her own credentials (umm, Princeton undergrad and Harvard Law?? Hello!), but her constant cool grace truly defines a new wave of intellectual greatness. You can imagine her being an awesome companion at shopping for prom dresses and a mom-daughter lunch, as she would be letting loose at a Laurie Berkner concert.  She is like the woman who has it all, and with the world literally at her fingertips, you know she still makes her girls eat their veggies and do their homework the old-fashioned way.  Sure, they may KNOW The Queen of England, but I am sure they have to write that World War II report using the same tools as you and me, Google.

The Super Mom (Kelly Ripa)

How many jobs can one working mom of three possibly have? I mean, it’s hard enough to either be stay-at-home or full-time working. Not for Supermom.  Supermom can star in a soap opera, host one of the country’s number one and longest running morning chat shows, be a spokesperson for TD Bank and Electrolux, have one of the  most unbelievable bodies in the business, oh, and did I mention, is barely 40? We can fantasize that she has loads of help, and secretly only eats a leaf of lettuce a day, but somehow, that just doesn’t suit her. Hands-on and down to earth. I have witnessed with my own eyes her and her brood, with no nanny, additional kids in tow, and no joke, enjoying some seriously delicious looking greasy pizza.

Let’s face it, we all have a little of each celeb in us all. And where we may not actually be swarmed by the paparazzi at every move, and we may not have a team of experts to always get us red carpet ready (which makes sense for those of us not walking a red carpet), we are celebs to the people that matter most to us, our kids.

Not that I wouldn’t love to strut around in some Louboutins and customized couture, but if it means that no one will ever photograph my taking out the garbage in ripped sweatpants, sans make up and with bed head, well, I’ll take it.

Like us on Facebook (facebook.com/WhitePlainsPatch) and follow us on Twitter (twitter.com/WhtPlainsPatch)