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Movie Reviews: Men in Black 3

Men in Black 3, Chernobyl Diaries

Review: 1.5 out of 4

“Men in Black 3” is a paycheck movie for everyone involved, except the audience, who again get another middling, phoned-in sequel looking to drain their wallets with its average 3-D-ness.  

Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones again return as agents J and K, except Jones much more briefly. His Agent K has been extinguished, all part of a plan by alien baddie Boris the Animal (Jemaine Clement, “Flight of the Conchords”) to go back in time and exact revenge on the agent for imprisoning him and destroying his alien race back 40 years ago.

Some temporal fracture allows J to still remember he had a partner named K and so he must go back to 1969 himself in order to make sure both future and past Boris’ are dead and K (played by Josh Brolin in the past) is alive or it will mean a huge alien invasion in the present.

Emma Thompson is also on hand as Agent O, taking over as leader of the Men in Black (I wondered how well women fair in this organization) from Rip Torn, while Michael Stuhlbarg (“Boardwalk Empire”) gets an annoying role as a psychic motor-mouth who also holds key in making sure this ends happily.

The script for this was supposedly still being finished when director Barry Sonnenfeld started filming and it shows. The time-travel stuff is flimsy, J’s temporal fracture is never really explained, but it wouldn’t be nearly as evident if “MIB3” did what it was supposed to do in the comedy department.

I laughed twice, once at an Andy Warhol joke and the other at the neuralyzer of the 1960’s.

Part of the fun of the first film was the eccentricity of these alien beings, but now that has worn thin. The surprise is gone and even slapsticky moments like throwing an alien head down a bowling alley runway never take on the desired effect.

The CGI and make-up creation on the aliens still look goofily cartoonish, but this time it’s for the benefit of just looking like expensive special effects than being cleverly funny. The same goes for Boris, probably the dullest of all the series villains.

He looks like a Hell’s Angel who can shoot spikes—nothing special.

Smith is given terribly lame lines (stuff about using cell phones on airplanes and flushing fish down the toilet) that he fast-talks with the same cockiness that gets so grating when he really doesn’t have any material to say. Jones just seems disengaged from the whole thing, and Brolin does an excellent Jones impression but he also did a good George W. Bush impression too and he couldn’t save that movie either.

I assumed this journey into the past was going to allow us some insight into K but the Brolin character, and the chemistry he has with Smith, never yields much of anything until the ending, which leads only to more questions.

Some will say “MIB3” is better than the second one, but who cares; it’s a far cry from the first. You’ll hardly need a neuralyzer to forget this hopefully last installment of the series.

Chernobyl Diaries was not screened for Critics

Click  for local movie showtimes from Moviefone

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Clifford Blau June 15, 2013 at 09:48 am
It's not true that parking is required. You could do as I do and walk there (assuming it isRead More actually the White Plains office you are referring to and not Harrison), or take a bus, or a taxi, or have someone drop you off and pick you up. And if you aren't happy with their service, go somewhere else. There are lots of doctors not affiliated with Westmed.
Cathy G June 15, 2013 at 04:41 pm
Clifford, thanks for your two cents! How lucky for you that you can walk to your doctor's office andRead More not have to pay to park!
Raymond Lautersack June 19, 2013 at 05:55 pm
There are two expenses that I always seem to have a difficult time accepting - parking fees andRead More tolls. I too was disappoint as I am sure many were to see that the WestMed Medical Group initiated a parking charge of $2.00 for each visit regardless of the time actually spent at the White Plains facility. Upon hearing this new policy I had to step back and look at what is going on around us and looking at the bigger picture. Parking fees are a way of life for all of us who live in and around White Plains. Tolls are a way of life for any who travel in New York State and New Jersey. A charge of $2.00 per visit is less than a cup of coffee and for the medical care received, you cannot put a price on it. A $2.00 parking fee does not make nor does it detract from the 'fine organization" that WestMed Medical Group has been and remains. My visits to WestMed Medical Group unfortunately have been far more over the past several years than I care to admit however I have the complete satisfaction and comfort knowing that I am getting the best care that I can get anywhere, near and far. I am always treated professionally, with respect and never leave feeling rushed, uninformed or uncomfortable with anyone that I have come in contact with which includes the building receptionist, the clerical staff at check in and all those beyond the waiting room areas. We must be our own health advocate and if anyone feels rushed, I would suggest that they slow the pace down with the doctor and perhaps make use of the WestMed web site and send a secure message to the doctor a few days prior to your appointment with your specific concerns and issues that you'd like to discuss. When everyone is prepared, things will go much easier and timing will not be an issue. I have even had the opportunity to use the WestMed Medical Group Ambulatory Center at Theall Road in Rye. I've used both White Plains Hospital and Greenwich Hospitals in the past and they are both excellent however I found equal if not better attention and care at the Theall Road Ambulatory Center. As for where the Customer Service Center is, it should not make any difference with the service provided. If running a Center is North Carolina is more efficient and cost effective, than so be it. It is not like moving jobs outside the country as so many corporations have done and continue to do. Everyone you speak to in the Center speaks well, has the doctors calendar and the ability to make an appointment for any open time frame. What more would anyone expect of a Service Center whose mission it is to make timely appointments for patients to see the doctor of their choice.