I'm gonna touch on a subject I know a lot about. Love and heart break.
Love in this era is so different from love in the era our parents grew up in. Now we have so many distractions that we forget how fragile love really is. How we have to work at it and hold onto it when we find the real thing.
I've had heart break and I've caused heart break and through all of that I've always felt so confused.
What happened? What did I do? Where did we go wrong? I've never cheated, so why did I stop loving this person I once couldn't be without? When did everything they do start to annoy me? Why would leaving a water stain on the table drive me crazy now, but didn't two months ago or two years ago?
The phone calls, all the texts I couldn't wait to receive—now I just wish my phone would break so I don't have to text back.
After my break ups I've thought it was the end of my world. That was it. Life was over. I would end up old and alone. But time went by and there I would be, calling my friends to hang out and forget about the love I now just call my ex. Trying to erase the pain, the memories. You start going out and meeting people. You start to date.
Life becomes fun again. You tell yourself wow, I really never was "that in love".
But the ultimate crush is when you think you are finally over the love you once felt and you start to completely regret losing it. You start missing this person you wanted to run away from. Now you wish you could wipe off the water stain from the table. Now you’re always checking your phone to see if it’s broken and you missed a call or text from this person.
Me - I’m a true Taurus. I know I stick around until there's nothing left to stick to. But maybe not - maybe that really was my true love. Did I just F-up? We think too much. Why do we fall out of love? Or why do we think we've fallen out of love? What if the love we had really wasn't our true love? And what if we do find the one person who will change us forever? Will we put up our walls and fight the feelings? Will we do everything possible to jeopardize that love?
It's scary. Love can be very scary.
And then it happens. You meet someone. The person that you know just changed your life forever. The person you want to hold forever. The person that gets you. The person that respects you. The person that makes you wanna be better. You can meet days after your breakup or years. But when you find that love you will now cherish that water stain, you'll long for the next text and you'll pick up on the first ring.
Love will make you strong in your skin.
Love will make you feel safe even when you’re alone. Love will make you feel great even when you shouldn't. Love will make you fight it and at times it will make you nuts. But when it finds you, it really hits you and before you know it you’re wide awake and happy. You’re alive.
What we all forget to hold onto is what made us feel that special way, the first time we felt the butterflies. Or the moment that your love’s smile caught your eyes and you thought I can't wait to kiss this person. Or how you used to feel that it was only the two of you in a room full of people.
Forget the distractions - our lives are so fast forward that we don’t pay enough attention to the simple things, the foundation that will build us up and make us whole. Don’t take it for granted. Cherish your love everyday.
I love you!
White Plains resident Julius Michael is the author of this column and the trusted stylist to many high-end Westchester clients. See his website at www.JuliusMichael.com or reach him at Julius Michael Scarsdale Hair Salon, 1 Christie Pl. Scarsdale, at 914.725.1123