Parents: Are You a Pickup Bandit?

Jay Wilson March 26, 2012 at 05:18 pm

I don't buy the "we're all too busy these days" argument. I can guarantee people said the same thing in 2002, 1992, 1982, even 1962. If anything, our reliance on mobile phones and GPS units should give us more time to stop in and say hello. To not do so is laziness, nothing more, nothing less.

Jim Schuman March 26, 2012 at 06:56 pm

Long gone are the days when all the kids lived on the same block and they could walk home. Long gone also are the days where kids didn't stay out after dark. Now it is common for children in middle school and older to stay out until 11pm at a house they cannot walk home from. So a pickup is a necessity for safety and efficiency. I think both the parents inside the house and the pickup parents are usually quite aware of each other, but remember it is late at night -- does anyone really want to stand and chat at 11pm? The parents inside the house want the evening to be over at that point and the kids to be out of the house. The parents in the car probably had to make a special trip for this pickup (although it was always nice when we could do it on our way home from a night out). Many times, regardless of which side of the equation I was on, I was already halfway in bed, wearing my sleep clothes and washed up. (This even if I was a driver!). To have to get out of the car at all would have been an inconvenience, let alone an embarrassment! I think it is understood that there won't be much interaction from the parents at that time of night, unless the situation calls for it (a sick child for example).

Krista Madsen (Editor) March 26, 2012 at 07:15 pm

I guess maybe my kids are too young for me to the drop-off drive-by. Plus I 'pull up' in a stroller so there's no chance of a fast getaway.

Melanie McKay March 26, 2012 at 08:06 pm

Actually, I would love to meet my son's friends mothers because they went out of their way to make him feel welcome. Having a son with food allergies, they each made him a special lunch when he went there a few times. I really wanted to thank them for that. I had gone to one friend's house, but the mother wasn't home.

Watchdog March 26, 2012 at 08:20 pm

A friends home is just another place to dump their kids ala Day Care, Pre K, Pre Pre K, After School Programs, Libraries, Camps, Party Busses etc. etc. Why raise your own kid when The Village can do it for you? Experience True Liberation.

Nancy March 26, 2012 at 08:47 pm

When they are little..say up to maybe 6th grade..pick up at the door is a must..unless you really know the parents...once middle school and high school set in..they come and go with their own manners..thank you etc.

newcitycathy March 26, 2012 at 09:40 pm

I think it depends on how well you know the parents. If you have known them for a while and the kids go back and forth between houses, then it is forgivable to just pull up once in a while-everybody is busy. But if you do not know the parents well, then you should get out and introduce yourself and thank them in person. Actually this should have been done at the drop off too. You have to know who your kids are hanging out with

Watchdog March 26, 2012 at 09:44 pm

Make it as you go along to experience true liberation. If you say it, it must be true. One day the mask will come off and reality will set in but it willbetoolate!

Watchdog March 26, 2012 at 09:50 pm

Can anyone else see thru this? Who is fitting into whose lifestyle? Dinner hon? Where in the Village can we dump our most precious possession this evening? You pick them up in your PJ's and that way you don't have to get out of the Benz to thank them. Press the EASY Button hon.

Watchdog March 26, 2012 at 10:07 pm

It just gets better. Jow about if you don't know the people you don't drop ( dump) them off there?

Conservative NYer March 26, 2012 at 11:59 pm

Playdates are extremely far and few. When my daughter does have the occasional play date I never, ever just drop her off. I stay there at the house and chat with the mother and will do so until I feel she is old enough. She had a playdate one time and I ended up hangin' out the the live-in Nanny while the mother went out shopping!! We don't do many playdates thank God. I lived without "playdates" and had a great childhood and so will my children.

Watchdog March 27, 2012 at 02:37 am

Refreshing to hear the voice of unselfish sanity.
Thank you

Sal Monella March 27, 2012 at 02:56 am

In this day and age where technology keeps people from interacting, we should be a positive influence to our kids and have actual conversations for them to witness.
People drop my sons friends at my home frequently. We would rather have the kids here, than wonder where they are/what they are doing. Sometimes I feel like I'm running a daycare, but not charging anyone! Heck, I think I might be raising the neighborhood. I'm fine with that too, and wouldn't change a thing.

Tigerose March 27, 2012 at 10:59 am

I have always been shocked at the parents who "drop and leave" no matter what age the child and I certainly expect a knock on the door when they pickup. Those mothers who sit in the car waiting for their child to come out are just rude and lazy! When I pick up I also expect the parent to make contact with me and not ignore the fact that there's another adult in the house! Latest pick up time for me is 9pm otherwise it's a sleep over! Parents who don't get out because they're in the pyjamas are probably the same ones walking round with their mouths wide open chewing gum and talking loudly on their cell phones for us all to hear!

Watchdog March 27, 2012 at 11:34 am

Thanks, my faith is being restored that not all parents are "Village" people.

Watchdog March 27, 2012 at 11:41 am

SAL, I had the same situation. Since we had the largest yard, it became a playground. Many of those kids, now adults, tell us of the fond memories they have playing in our yard. There was at least one parent who wanted to use it as a sort of Day Care but my wife would not have it.

Scott Walters March 27, 2012 at 12:11 pm

My children do not DATE....I will not set up anything called a date for my eight, five and four years old...I guess that Makes me buzzkill...
But I'm glad to have my children go to another house to play or have other kids come to our house and play....and I expect the parents to say hello....and even to stop and talk for a few minutes unless they are having to go somewhere that they have mentioned beforehand...I guess that still makes me buzzkill...

Elizabeth Schreiber March 27, 2012 at 01:25 pm

Wow - some of you against children socializing are really over the top!!! I believe the topic was parents coming to the door. I always pick up at the door - but for my middle schoolers, I occasionally just drop off. I would imagine when my kids get older and have evening get-togethers, I would still go to the door. I also commend the parents that put their child first - and allow them to have a social life at times sacrificing their own. To consider this "dumping" is ridiculous. My kids love Family Time - and we have a lot of it- but they also crave socializing with classmates. This is an important part of their development and parents that work to incorporate this into the family life are anything but lazy.

Lisa Jeanneret March 27, 2012 at 01:49 pm

There are times when I really am in a huge hurry, but I'll at least get out and wave from the sidewalk. A smile and a "hello, thanks!" can go a long way!

HJS March 27, 2012 at 02:50 pm

I agree Elizabeth. The topic was about manners when picking up and dropping off not if you should allow your child to play with their friends. My oldest is a very social child and really enjoys his friends and I don't use it to get rid of him since I still have two younger children to take care of. If anything I am inconvieniencing myself to have to pack the three of them in the car and take him to the friend's house. I also agree that it is a must to get out and get them so you can get to know the parents and it also depends on the child's age. Teenagers don't want to be treated like babies and probably won't want you coming to the door to get them and if you know the parents well enough it should not be a problem and just do like Lisa said and give a friendly wave and smile.

RyeDad March 27, 2012 at 03:28 pm

Pickup Bandit? I thought this story may have been about a certain individual at Rye City Hall when I first saw the headline.

Susan Troop March 27, 2012 at 04:01 pm

Correct! We should strap our children to our bodies immediately after birth and (after a touching ceremony,) unstrap them at eighteen and send them out into the world.

dleighg March 27, 2012 at 05:29 pm

love your comment, Susan. Watchdog is just a grumpy old guy who likes to criticize others.

Watchdog March 27, 2012 at 05:31 pm

DUMP don't STRAP to experience true liberation.

Kelly March 28, 2012 at 01:55 am

I would like to know Watchdog what you mean by "Village"people..

Watchdog March 28, 2012 at 02:26 am

Generally people who dump their kids into every public and private program to avoid raising their kids themselves.

CJ March 29, 2012 at 06:26 pm

I always go to the door at dropoffs. The younger the child is the more important it is. I would feel strange if I didn't meet the parents (partially to make sure they are actually there...) and introduce myself. No matter what their ages. Also it helps to know when you should pick them up ;) Only once have we had a parent drop off a child and not say hello, but that was a 9th grader. While I was surprised I would have been shocked if it was done by a parent of an elementary school age child.
And Watchdog is a troll. Read his other comments on other articles before responding to him at all. Don't feed the troll.

NewCityParent2012 March 29, 2012 at 07:43 pm

watchdog - u r very cranky perhaps a yogurt smoothie or cocktail for u this afternoon...lighten up Francis!

Scott Walters March 30, 2012 at 04:12 pm

I love for my children to socialize as much as possible. But they will not go on a DATE of any sort until they are well into high school...that has got to be one of the worst words ever created inthe English language. Call me buzzkill...

Lynne Gweeny March 31, 2012 at 02:20 am

My husband is a stay at home dad and he never drops our kids off anywhere with out saying hello or thank you. When he meets with his weekly dads group the other dads seem to be in agreement.